WHAT THE HELL!

Monday, August 5, 2013

So I get home from a meeting and I just asked a question to see if J brushed his teeth? I saw that he was talking to his Dad and I know how some conversations go, and go and go and go and go and go and what if, and go and what if and go. So I say AGAIN J have you brushed your teeth yet? And they are STILL talking (this was 8:50) and still talking, and talking and talking and talking and talking and talking and talking and talking and talking.  So 5 min later I ask again, J have your brushed your teeth yet? I get a NO I HAVEN'T!!! So now it's 9:06 pm and (AFTER HIS BEDTIME).  So J is supposed to be in bed by now but is he in bed...........NO!!! I get accused of being so tough so IDC (I don't care) what time he goes to be anymore if no one else cares.  I'm getting tired of the one who gives a rip about things around here!!! I mean I'm the one who has to deal with him when he has to get up in the morning grumpy or having a blow out in the morning etc.  Not W. I'm just trying to get thing head off at the pass so I DON'THAVE TO DEAL WITH IT IN THE MORNING!!! But I guess W doesn't see it that way.  So I'm not worried about having him go to bed either.  I remind J about his pills every night and make sure he goes to bed on time.  I guess if W doesn't care I don't care either.  As a matter of fact, I'm don't care he has a job or not b/c I feel with everything we have been through the last few years is W's fault!!! It all stems from the Hersholt house.  If he didn't sell the house and we didn't move then I think things would have been different.  It all started there! There is so much crap I have to deal with when I'm the only woman in the family.  I know where all the attitude stems from and it stems from W.  W doesn't wash the clothes, dishes or clean so J sees it and asks himself as to Why do I have to do this stuff if Dad doesn't.  Fair question.  I think that we would have a different child if W would do some of the things that J has to do.  I think the attitude would be different if he would just sometimes keep his mouth shut as well.  I mean I have to bite my tongue a lot a lot of the time here.  I mean W doesn't lift a finger for his mom when he is asked to do something from his Mom.  I mean I see it the way he speaks to his Mom and it's the SAME way J speaks to me! I know it stems from W a lot of the time.  Unfortunately, W doesn't see it that way and he walks around like his shit doesn't stink.  I sometimes think that God is working on me to be obedient to God and to work on my patience.  Actually, I don't sometimes think, I KNOW God is working on me all the time. 

I feel that being on FB doesn't help with me venting b/c W is on there and plus I get critized for me venting on FB from family.  I get accused on there from FAMILY and not only friends. Family defriends me b/c of something I believe (which IDC) b/c if that's the way they think I am then FUCK THEM!!! IDC if they have been straightened out the fact that they thought that.  If they thought that then they don't know me very well and don't care to get to know me and they think their Uncle married someone like that!!! W's cousin C & F.  I stand up to what I believe and I post it on my FB acct and they think I would think that Gay people are an abomination! REALLY, I'm not one to judge anyone b/c it says in the Bible that I'm not to judge less I be judged!!! Well, God has judged me and/or will judge me when the time comes! I just think that a marriage is between ONE MAN/ONE WOMAN! The Holland clan is such BULLSHIT!!! THEY ARE ALL FREAKIN' CRAZY!!

I'm getting dropped left and right by THAT side of the family.  It's going to be interesting when it comes time to a family reunion. I'm just going to get up and walk away if someone brings that crap up!!! B/c I don't want to get into it and have to explain myself! Why should I anyways.  I should be the one receiving an apology from his family but will I EVER.............NO! I will probably get beat down again from verbal abuse from his family AGAIN!!! H (sister) says they straightened out J (son).  I doubt that very much!! Beside if he was straightened out then I think H (sister) should have told J (son) to say sorry to me for saying what he said!!! Will I EVER get that...............NO! I'm sick of his family BS!!!