School Time!

September 19, 2013

Well, this is the second (2nd) seek of school and I've already regret my decision.  Well, let's just say I regret teaching him but not keeping him home from school from the other reasons.  I guess my other reason.ns would be making sure he gets the attention he needs but I think that sometimes it's too much. I've tried to be patient but SOMEtimes he just gets under my skin.  Like I've said, I HATE the issues he has and maybe if you take away the issues then maybe I would LOVE the kid. But I know that's just not going to happen.  I try to love the kid AND the issues but sometimes it is difficult to do. 

We've already have been fighting this week and it's only Thursday.  The big one was Tuesday on our way to see Dr. E. As always the issue and I think will always will be the radio in the car.  I have the volume low (I like it that way) but J doesn't.  He wants the volume higher but as the driver I've had the volume on high and I've had it to where I would be driving along and all of a sudden I'd see the ambulance.  So NOW I make sure my volume in my car is low so I may hear the police, fire trucks or ambulance.  But anyways, J wanted it higher in the volume (he asked nicely) and I answered no. You would think he would be respectful and accept that answer but NO he didn't he wanted to continue to fight my answer and be me down to answer yes.  But to no avail..... I held my ground and said no and don't touch my stuff in my car.  He didn't like that and he went on another tangent.  We finally got to Dr. E and we went in our session and guess what!!!! I feel validated that I have someone on my side (for once) to let him know that he total disrespected my authority.  It's like what he said on Tuesday.  We were in school and he "started" to ask me something about Wednesday.  I told him, "I didn't want to think about tomorrow, I just want to get today over with." J says, "okay, but I ....." Again I tell him, "I told you, I don't want to talk about tomorrow, just want to get through today." So he actually dropped it but I get totally disrespected constantly and it wears on me to where I feel like I'm beat down by a baseball bat. 

I'm hoping today will be a better day.  I pray the Lord bring me peace and understanding.  Lord help me with my tongue and my attitude.  Help me to love the unloveable. Amen.